The Scenic Route

Moronic Advertising Tactics

2010-01-21T20:43:00.000-08:00

I cannot say just how many of you spend much time watching the advertisements seen during the breaks on your favourite TV shows, but if you've seen the latest Tim Horton's spots on the wheel of donuts, then you know where I'm going with this conversation.

I think the very last, and I mean seriously last thing I'd do, if I could spare the time, is to make a wheel of donuts out of spare materials in my garage. (long, long pause taken here, while shaking my head in disbelief).

Then, just when I thought it was only Tim Hortons who had a chronic habit as of late, depicting their customers as ultimate morons, I see that McDonalds has also jumped on the "let's make our customers look stupid in commercials" bandwagon as well.

Case and point: People talking to their new McDonalds steak wrap like they were going to have a private moment in the bathroom after eating one...and I'm not refering to a bowel movement here. Seriously??? Is that what fast food means to us now...a wierd sexual fantasy or a compultion to build toys to choose which deep fried, honey glazed, caramel stuffed, fat filled sustinence to buy today!!!

I could handle this line of marketing strategy if (and that is a big if), they were actually funny on some level. But they are not.

What I would give to have the power to whack the executives who approved these ads up the side of the head with a 30 year old copy of David Ogilvy on Advertising! Keep up with trends? That would be a YES. Insult your customers' intelligence? That would be a NO.

Ok. The break is over now...you can go back to your regularly scheduled program!

The Six Feet Under Shortlist

2010-01-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

I had a very large (ok, she was down right obese) woman tell me a few weeks back that I should quit smoking. “It’s very bad for your health you know, and so is second hand smoke”, she said with a Dr. Oz kind of authority. Why she followed me to my 30-yard distance away from the building entrance to point this out when she obviously wasn’t a smoker is unknown.

I smiled and had to bite my tongue rather firmly. I am a polite Canadian girl after all. What I dearly wanted to say to her was, “Yes, and I hear that being grotesquely overweight can lead to diabetes, gout, clogged arteries, several heart conditions and premature death, and maybe you should quit eating”, but then that would just be insulting and down right rude.

I have to question what makes it politically correct for her to tell me, a perfect stranger, how to live my life while it’s not politically correct for me to comment on her super sized McDonalds double arched ass? Some might say that it’s because of the second hand smoke issue. After all, there is no such thing as second hand fat, unless you are trapped in your Air Transat seat next to a big mama during a 4-hour flight while holding your bladder because there is no way you're getting to the bathroom until the plane has landed.

In my opinion, there is such a thing as second hand fat. Let us explore big mama’s household where big mama, and little-big jr. eat the same fatty, non-nutritional meals day after day while they watch Jerry Springer on the television. If mama is feeding her child the same garbage that made her so enormously overweight as to put her name on the 6-feet-under shortlist, is her routine of wielding her bad nutritional habits upon him not a form of second hand smoke, in the philosophical sense?

I’m not arguing that smoking is good, but I am supporting the old cliché that people in glass houses should not throw stones. I’m also pointing out that some opinions belong to your inside voice, or here on a blog post with no names attached. :)

I have been honing my habit of putting my money in my mouth and burning it 20 times a day for over 30 years. I’m a 70’s kid who grew up surrounded by smokers in the perfectly acceptable realm of doing it anywhere they damned well pleased. It’s going to take a lot more than her rude intrusion into my personal life choices to successfully stop me from smoking. She and I are both on the same 6-feet-under shortlist, but for different reasons. It’s kind of like asking me to skip breakfast for the rest of my life, while ironically that’s what big mama should be doing.

Regardless, we all have vices. We do things that bother others, continue to abuse our bodies in one way, shape form or fashion, while readily pointing fingers at others for their vices. It is who we are and often what makes us tick. Just for the record, mirrors are equally as useful for applying makeup and fixing your hair as they are for revealing your flaws. I know I have many, and smoking is one of them. Not all flaws are on the surface, and not all smokers want to be slaves to their unhealthy habit anymore than overweight people wanting to stay overweight. Ultimately, the point of this blog post is “think first, speak later”, even if you’re only sending out smoke signals.

Dirty, Sexy Money

2009-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

With all the germs, bugs and viruses floating around out there, it’s no surprise our society is in a state of panic. The other day I received an email that made light of where your money goes; “Have you ever wondered if that $5 bill in your pocket was once placed into the butt crack of a stripper?” LOL… NO! But I do now!

I have a girlfriend who once worked at a racetrack. The money was passed under a blue light to check for counterfeit bills, but more than just the bill’s authenticity was revealed. It seems that virtually every bill in circulation has one or all three of the following things on it (in trace amounts of course): cocaine, ejaculate & tape. Tape? What’s up with the tape? Oh, maybe that’s how my $5 bill got stuck to the strippers’ ass!?

So last week I went shopping at SportMart for my son. I bought a few things, paid cash and then had to return one of the items a few days later. Problem #1 was that I had misplaced my receipt. Problem #2 is that I had paid cash so there was no way to track my purchase based on my name or credit card information. Luckily they were able to locate the sale transaction by the date of the sale and the amount of the sale, but it took them 15 minutes to validate the sale so the item could be returned.

So here’s the deal. Money is a pain. It’s dirty, and basically untraceable in the business world without a receipt. I’m beginning to embrace the concept of using my credit and debit cards more readily because I know for a fact that my cards have never seen the crack of a strippers ass before! I could also (if I were a germaphobe), use those trusty little handy wipes to clean my cards after every use.
Money image from http://9gag.com/gag/7802/

The other option of course is to go the way of Howard Hughes and Michael Jackson by donning gloves 24/7/365, or launder my money with my load of socks each week. Just what I need around here…another load of laundry!

So when I look at money now, I see all the times it was used to buy drugs, stuck in a strippers butt crack, handed to a hooker after a hand job in the alley, or passed on to me in a business transaction after someone went to the bathroom and neglected to wash their hands afterward. Dirty money? Yes. Sexy?…Not so much!

2009-10-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

Waste Not Want Not

2009-09-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

Of all the things I love about my home; fantastic view, large sundrenched deck, low mainenance yard, alley access, simple floor plan, quiet street, nice real estate neighbour to my left, stowic unapproachable neighbour to the right…yes it is my little piece of paradise, yet there is always something every woman (or man for that matter) can find flawed about their castle.

For me, and likely every woman out there, I find the lack of closet space my biggest issue. As I stroll through the many images of beautiful homes I’ve had the pleasure of viewing and photographing, I can’t help but admire the walk in closets! Some of these homes have one in every bedroom, and often also sport walk in pantries in the kitchen (ahhhhh).

But I have something special that I affectionately refer to as my walkin floor. Yes, like most teenagers, I have a closet, but alas it is far too full of clothes I just know at some point I will fit into again, and so the clothes that I do actually fit into find their place lovingly on my walkin floor.

Some items are in piles, some items are in neat stacks, some piles consist of collections of mismatched socks that have sadly lost their twins in traumatic laundry accidents, or have been stolen by our beloved labrador for chewing experiments. Either way, it is both interesting and challenging to locate the exact shirt I had intended to wear each morning, usually resulting in a massive dig and restructuring because my walkin floor system is not anywhere near as organized as the walkin closet I dream of having some day.

So as much as I adore my humble abode with stunning open views of the Port Moody inlet, I find that if not for the stunning views and sundrenched deck I would have this sucker up for sale in 10 seconds flat and take the first offer that hit the kitchen table.

As a side note, I recently found 10 of the missing sock twins from the corner of my walkin floor. They are all clean and ready to be reunited with their grieving twins, except for the holes that the dog affectionately adorned them with…which means they can only be worn on Sundays and in certain company. Oh well, waste not a holy sock, want not a walkin closet. A girl can dream, right?

People Are Weird

2009-08-31T01:37:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I said it out loud & likely offended a few souls out there, but frankly we are all weird. The question is "how weird is weird to you?". Some of us have huge tolerance levels for weirdness, and others have none at all. I have a huge tolerance and find people whom others would classify weird quite interesting...because they ARE weird. I don't "judge" people anymore because I've been known to be amazingly wrong about my preconceptions. Plus, I'd hate for someone to meet me on a bad day and tell everyone they know that I'm a bitch, when the truth is that I'm a very nice person who enjoys observing weird people, while occassionally having bad days.

Do we judge others too quickly? Yes - and it is a destructive habit! The reason I bring up the subject of weirdness is because I attended the ACDC concert the other night and was surround by the largest crowd of weird people I've ever encountered before. But I mean weird in a good way. These people were huge fans - devoted fans - adoring fans - drunk and/or stoned fans - whom could not have been more excited about the arrival of their favourite band to Vancouver than Premier Gordon Campbell getting away with bringing in the HST. It was like watching roughly 55,000 people milling around the street whom had all just won a large sum of money in the lottery. They were adroned in red flashing horns, ACDC t-shirts, headbands, school boy shorts & ties, tams, wigs, tattoos & wide eyed excitement. They ranged in age from 12 - 70 (similar to the Rolling Stone's concert crowd). Let's face it...to the everyday Joe, these people were pretty much as weird as weird gets, next to Gay Pride Day attendees! And as a side note, watching "normal people" watch "weird people" was equally as entertaining. Damned I wish I had my good camera with me!
Below is a 15 second video clip of the concert. We had floor seats, but if I could do this again I wouldn't pay for a floor seat as it was a waste of money (unless you have no intension of actually "seeing" the band). If you can't understand what they are singing in this clip, don't worry - we couldn't either because the decible levels were unregisterable!

I SAID THE DECIBLE LEVELS WERE UNREGISTERABLE!!! lol.

Ok, so the bottom line here is that you just gotta love people for who they are. If they are weird to you, then so be it. Now if only you knew how weird you are to others...

Act or Accept

2009-07-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

No matter whom you voted for in the last Provincial election, you do continue to have a voice after the fact, it is merely a matter of exercising it.

Recent news is the imminent inception of a Harmonized Sales Tax system where the GST and the PST are blended to create a Harmonized Sales Tax (HST). This hugely affects the people and business' that were previously exempt from collecting PST on their sales. An example would be the restaurant business. My first thought was that people would be less likely to pay a gratuity to their server on the total tab to make up for the cost addition of 7% that was not previously there. Only time will tell how much of an impact this will have on the already struggling industry, and how many more jobs will be lost in the current economic climate. Campbell's timing on this is hideous, but then most of his decisions are. One long time Vancouver restaurant owner suggested that for many restaurants it could amount to a $50,000.00 per year loss in sales which is easily the difference between staying afloat or closing the doors. Expect more doors to close that open with Campbell at the helm.

It is not news that Premier Gordon Campbell is both thoughtless and careless in his implementation of policies, but his recent re-election only proves that those whom took the time to vote spent as much time researching the candidates as they did going to the voting both to mark their "X" on the voter's ballot. They say a devil known is better than a devil unknown, but a devil non-the-less.

I find BC'ers quite complacent in many ways, accepting the ignored campaign promises and never acting to make change when they get kicked in the pants again and again by the devil known. We all had the same chance to NOT vote for Campbell and although I chose to vote for a "devil unknown" I was unfortunately in the minority. Does that make me smarter, faster or stronger than those who voted for Campbell? Oh, how I would like to say yes here, but the answer sadly is no. It does however give me the right to point out that we all have the same chance to Act or Accept on our futures by being a little less complacent by speaking your minds now on every issue regardless of whom you cast your vote for or who is currently in office. Your words do carry weight, but they must be in volumes to be effective. For example, sharing this blog opinion counts as acting against the implimentation of HST!

With every issue that strikes a chord in you, add these three words to your opinion…Act or Accept?

Lost In My Own Space & Lack Of Time

2009-07-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

It used to be that I had all the time in the world to do as I pleased. Then I got a few ideas in my little brain and the next thing I knew I was doing exactly as I pleased, but couldn't find enough time in a day to get it all done! I have, for all intent and purposes, created my own monster.

How did this happen?

A good friend of mine once analyzed the 24 hour day and this was his observation:
A90Six "A day is 24hrs long, only if you stay in one place. In reality, each day that begins at the international date line continues for 48hrs. Although, 24 of that 48hrs will overlap the day before and the other 24 will overlap the day after, which also means that by crossing the line at just the right time you could go straight from Monday to Wednesday. This would mean that a day was no time at all.
So, on the one hand it has taken me no time at all to write this and on the other it’s taken me 48 hrs. I’m feeling kind of tired now, so I’m going with the latter."

And so there it is...a compelling argument for why I have all the time in the world but never enough of it to tame the aformentioned monster. I do however have my own top 5 reasons why I am an unpaid stress monkey;
1. I'm an artist at heart, and we all know what they say about artists...they're artsy
2. I can never say no
3. I create pet projects to ensure the one's I really should get done are conveniently ignored, such as developing a ligitimate excuse for not doing the laundry even though my computer desk is literally 3 paces from the washer & dryer
4. I'm a rebel, and we all know what they say about rebels...they're rebelishy
5. I'll think of something to put here...give me a minute to get my artistic rebel mind to make something quazi ligitimate up.

Tick tock, tick tock...the monster becons me.

I'll Drink to That...

2009-05-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

Computer virus issues, a 4 week long sinus cold, and a host of other problems have pulled me to the edge this month. I was having issues with installing Adobe CS3 (even after ridding my system of the over 800 infected files from the current round of internet virus') and discovered there was an error in the registry that was creating the software install problem. At this point my computer is working fine as I managed to clear it of the virus' using a free Malware removal program, but I just can't seem to get Adobe CS3 to install properly. The error was in the MsiExec.exe file in System32 and the fix for it (from Micosoft.com) was to re-register that file. So I go thru the step by step instructions from Microsoft, and it tells me I have to run the re-registry in safe mode. So I reboot and try to get the computer to start in safe mode using the F8 key, but it won't bring up the screen option, only the boot drives options (floppy, DVD, etc). So I go back to the instructions and it offers a second option to go and run MSCONFIG and set it to boot in safe mode from there. I go there, do that, then reboot the computer as the instructions suggest. Only problem now is that it just keeps rebooting all by itself, over and over again. No matter which option I chose from the safe mode options list or the start windows normally option, it just keeps doing the same thing - rebooting repeatedly.

So I go frantically searching my desk for the Windows CD and eventually find it between two pieces of paper on my paper tray. I throw the CD in and think that if I boot from the CD I'll get past the rebooting issue and be able to start windows normally....no go. (surprise, surprise, surprise). My only option at this point was to reinstall Windows, but it won't accept my C drive partition, stating that it is either full or misconfigured. I know it's not full because I emptied a whack of my important files a few days back to my portable drive. The only option it would give me at this point was to reformat C drive, which is what it is doing now. Anything that was left on my C drive is now toast - all my emails, my contact lists & several photoshop style software programs I bought online that I don't have discs for - worth roughly 500.00 I figure. And with all my emails gone, so are my copies of the purchases and the passcodes & the download links to use those programs (I couldn't back up those files to my external drive because it was full from the drive back up I did two days ago, and then forgot about the emails back up). Hopefully I can find a few of the paper reciepts I printed up for these programs.

To add insult to injury, the Windows CD has now gone thru the process of reformatting my C drive to reinstall Windows, but that too has now failed and as I look behind me from my husband's computer where I'm typing this message, all I can see is a solid blue screen, and a faint flicker - like a weak heartbeat from a dying bird. I don't know weather to laugh, cry or shit the chair my sorry ass is parked in.

I would like to have the entire month of May 2009 striken from my memory banks, because:
1) I only learned one thing during this entire process (starting with the virus issues) - Microsoft desktop computer systems are shit;
2) I am now 8 business days into this issue, which is still unresolved, & out an additional $100.00 worth in useless spyware, anti-virus, and registry repair products that did nothing but create more issues than solve, but found a free Malware removal that did the trick;
3) I have lost 2 weeks worth of productivity that I will never get back, have 6 videos still waiting to be edited and uploaded to Youtube and no functioning software to work with;
4) I believe somebody has put a curse on me - there is no other possible explanation for what I've had to go thru this month. Technically, I don't have a right to complain because my worst day is still 100% better than 90% of the world populations best days - but I'm bitching about it anyway because I can.

I only have one question at this point. Is it just me, or have all Microsoft users become raging alcholics? The correct reply here is, "I'll drink to that".

No April Fool

2009-05-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

How many times have you had someone pull a fast one on you? Most people pick the standard April Fool's Day to pull stunts on others, but there are the odd characters who enjoy pulling pranks whenever they can.

I've had the luxury of pulling a few fast one's on people before, and the best one to-date is the stunt I pulled on my cousin Karen a few years back. She had been talking for a while about how much she'd like to have a hot tub in her back yard, and I go so tired of hearing about it I had to do something. Karen is one of those people who will do virtually anything to get something for free, and for her this would have been the deal of the century, so I decided to set her up by getting a good friend to call her and pretend they were from a local radio station that was giving a way a $15,000.00 hot tub as a promo for a local hot tub distributor/advertiser. She fell for it hook line and sinker. We told her that her name had been entered by her husband in a ballot draw at the local mall and all she had to do was answer a music history question and the hot tub was hers. You could hear the panic in her voice as we posed this question:

What year did Micheal Jackson purchase the rights to the Beatle's catalog?

Well, you could have heard a pin drop - the silence on the phone was deafening. She finally spoke with a cry in her voice claiming that she had no idea and there was nobody at home to even help her out with the answer. She struggled for the longest time to come up with the correct year, but knew so little of music history that all she could do was guess. Of course, no matter what answer she gave, it was going to be a wrong one because we didn't know the answer either!

To this day, I still feel bad for doing this to her, but frankly not many people have pulled pranks like this and gotten away with it, so in a sadistic sort of way I feel quite proud of myself. The trick is to cover all your tracks, practice it a few times, and be prepared for anything to go wrong. Lucky for me I was forgiven and a good laugh was shared. This puts me into the category of ME.AZ.OL.

But alas, I am not immune to being had by others from time to time.

Valley Girls In Vancouver?

2009-04-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when we are out walking we overhear the odd conversation from people we pass by. The other day I was walking along Manitoba St. at Broadway where there are a number of bicycle & sporting goods stores. It's kind of a funky little neighbourhood; lots of interesting shops, heritage homes and community gardens which remind me a bit of San Francisco's suburbs.

As I passed two women talking about bicylces, one gal says in a very Valley Girl style accent, "I like totally love to ride around the Seawall at Stanley Park with a bottle of wine".

My mind instantly wandered in this direction: I don't know about anybody else but if I downed a bottle wine, I'm not so sure riding a bicycle would be such a good plan. And then I wondered if being soused on wine while riding a bike would be classified as drinking and driving. You may not kill anyone, but you'll definitely up the chances of killing yourself. Helmut therefore renedered useless.

I envisioned a reinactment of Peewee Herman laughing and waving at people while freestyle ridding in a random wavy pattern along a busy main street, ringing his bell, then haphazardly ramming into the backside of a parked car and tossing himself over the roof of it. Peewee never had a helmut on in any of his films.

Ok, so maybe that's an exaggeration, but Vancouver isn't Amsterdam and even in Stanley Park it's not easy to get around on a bicycle without having your full wits about you. For most, walking while soused on said bottle of wine is difficult enough (present company included).

So, did I get the crux of the conversation as I passed by, or did I take with me a snippet of a much larger one and then let my imagination fill in the blanks? It doesn't actually matter either way as I got what I needed from it and entertained myself while enjoying the spring air and that funky little neighbourhood. Like, totally! Ha Ha Ha!

P.S. Remember this scene..."Tequilla!"

Confessions Of An Online Photo Site Junkie

2009-04-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

...or why a six letter word could quite possibly be more offensive than that four letter one.

Addictions…we’ve all got them in one way, shape or form. One of my many obsessive compulsions include photo sharing sites. I wondered if I was among few or many with the same problem. I decided to poll my cyber community pals from various photo sites to see just how many of them considered themselves as “addicted” as I do. Not surprisingly, I confirmed I’m not alone. What did surprise me however was their willingness to purge their statistics on the number of sites they were members of, how many hours they spent per day online, and if they had ever used the evil word addiction to describe their online habits. One of my dear online friends often jokingly quips, “I’m not addicted, I’m not addicted, I’m not addicted”, yet freely confesses that once she’s online the hours pass her by like minutes. Yup, been there, done that, bought the membership.

So before I divulge the poll stats, lets examine the words addiction and compulsion, relative to my own confession.

Wikipedia describes addiction/compulsion in this way:
The term addiction is also sometimes applied to compulsions that are not substance-related, such as problem gambling and computer addiction. In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user himself to his or her individual health, mental state or social life.

Oh, there’s the word I was looking for, “social life”. That’s the kicker right there folks. Unbenounced to all those whom walk in my shoes, most feel they have an amazing social life because they have hundreds of friends online. Sadly, it’s kind of like when we were kids and had make believe friends who entertained our little minds when we were bored or lonely. Which reminds me of yet another word often used to explain why so many become addicted to their cyber friends and mistake this connection for a real “social life”…the word is l-o-n-e-l-y. Lonely? Who me? Are you fracking kidding me? That’s such a sad little word. Six shrinking violet coloured letters short and not the least bit friendly. Suddenly I feel like bursting into tears and wailing a country song between self indulgent sobs. Where did I put that Kleenex box anyway?

Enough with all the nasty negativity. Let’s focus on the top 5 positive points of online addictions:
1) People don’t have to see you to like you, OR know you to enjoy your images
2) You can socialize in your pajamas, underwear, or in your birthday suit and nobody knows but you (and your Peeping Tom neighbour)
3) If you’re talented with Photoshop, you can make any picture of yourself look Brad Pitt handsome or Paris Hilton hhhhot
4) You can make up super cool names for yourself and have a different super cool name for every site you’re a member of (wasn’t grade 5 fun!)
5) Your friends are from all over this big beautiful photogenic world, so even if you’re up at 2:00 AM on a Wednesday in Canada, you know at least one of your photog peeps is awake at a legitimate hour in Australia! You are never alone.

That’s a pretty impressive list of reasons to build your very own cyber fan club! You know the kind…where you get loads of perfect strangers hooking up with your home page, sending you sweet props on your camera skills (don’t you just love the lingo in cyberspace? LOL). But I must digress, as this brings me back to my addiction to online photo-sharing sites and why I had to use that offensive little, purple shaded, adjective, lonely.

How many of us have shared this conversation?:
Husband: “We’ll, I’m off to bed dear”.
Wife: “Ok, I’m right behind you. I’m just going to check one thing on my RedBubble account and I’ll be up in a few minutes”.
Login Time: 11:40 PM
Logout Time: 2:25 AM
What I missed: Rougly two hours of loud snoring and a couple of pungent farts (our two dogs sleep in our bedroom).

What happens is this; even if you are in a relationship, and you’ve unceremoniously become addicted to online site memberships, you’ve now unintentinally made your significant other lonely. To coin another cyber phrase, an internet widow. So there you have it. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly parts of online addictions (giddy-up)…or to be wikipedically correct, online compulsions.

To sum it all up, here are the official stats I acquired from my faithful, wonderful, amazingly talented, charming & gorgeous photographer friends:

Average number of active photo sharing site memberships: 3.33 sites
Average number of hours spent online on photo sharing sites: 20 hours (holy crap)
Percentage of respondants whom considered themselves “addicted”: 100%

The confession blog comment box is now open. Feel free to purge your online compulsive sins, breath deep, do a yoga pose or two, then get back online because you and I both know your memory card is full!

Cheers, Sandra
P.S. Thank you to all those who participated! YOU ROCK!

Some Things Just Can't Be Explained

2009-03-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while you see or hear of something that is out of the ordinary, or just plain goes against the rules of nature. This video is an example of just such an event...enjoy this one & share it.

Midnight Blue

2009-03-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

Here is my latest creation, inspired by the song Midnight Blue by Lou Gramm (1987)

Finally There is An Instructional Video!

2009-03-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

For years and years I've always wanted to know exactly how one would go about "f**cking themselves". Well, the wait is over as I've finally found THE instructional video to answer this time honoured question;

How exactly does one go "F**k Themselves?"

Now you know too!!! Cheers, S.

Quatro, por favor!

2009-03-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

There are two ways to get out of town. One option is a holiday, which involves a trip to Disneyland carting around a litter of whining children from one attraction to another while your brain slowly leaks from your ears. Option two is a vacation, where the sole intension is to leave your everyday existence behind (including said children) for typically one or two weeks per year. Both options are expensive, but you definitely get more bang-for-your-buck when you opt for the v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n.

For my husband and I, vacations aren’t as frequent as we’d like, but I’m quite certain that we’re not the only couple whom have made that statement before (insert sad violin music here).

Heading out to the Riviera Maya with another couple was just what the doctor ordered, and although there were a surprising number of families with very young children aboard our plane to paradise, they remained very quiet and well behaved during our five-hour flight. There is little worse while on vacation than to leave your own children behind and discover you‘re surrounded with other people’s kids. Which brings me to travel tip #1:
- If you didn’t bring a pair of headphones & your iPod, buy a set on the plane and watch a movie. Total cost for headset & movie rental via West Jet Airlines $9.00.
The other male traveler in our foursome has very little knowledge of the Spanish language and had the word quatro confused with cerveza, so as he practiced his Spanish request for “beer, please” by rehearsing “Quatro, por favor”, we chuckled and decided his nickname for the rest of our journey was, you guessed it, “Quatro”. My nickname became “Jet Pack”, but I’ll explain that one later.

Our accommodations in Cancun were outstanding. This is a top notch, 5-star all-inclusive resort that is, for lack of a better description, massive in real estate terms. The beach frontage of our resort stretched two kilometers, which is virtually unheard of. This is the Moon Palace Golf & Spa resort, located 15 minutes from the Cancun International Airport, and roughly the same distance from the heart of Cancun proper. It just doesn’t get any more perfect than this by anyone’s standards.
We had been to Cancun once before and although our other resort, the Barcelo Maya, was quite lovely, it did not compare to the Moon Palace, accept the cost for both these resorts is comparable. Luckily our stay at the Moon Palace was gifted to us, so our only true cost was airfare and incidentals like cab fare or tour excursions away from the resort. We estimate the 4 excursions, including cab fares, ferries, transportation rentals & cervezas cost us $500 US per couple. A major bonus of Palace Resorts is the ability for the guests to use free of charge, any other Palace Resort hotel’s restaurants & common facilities in the Quintana Roo district of Mexico. What this privilege afforded us was the ability to travel anywhere, including both islands of Isla Murjeles & Cozumel and visit, eat & drink at these sister hotels for free. This, in our little minds amounted to royal treatment, and reminded us of the slogan “membership has its privileges”, from MasterCard commercials. This perfect perk, along with the high-end facilities they offer at each of their locations, would explain why 20 percent of all visitors to Cancun stay at a Palace Resorts hotel. Although 90% of our drinks & meals were within these various resorts & hotels at no additional cost to us, we did purchase a few meals & beers at local bars & cantinas along our travels.

Many have told us that the month of March is the best time to visit the Yucatan Peninsula. Our weather was consistently sunny with the odd passing of light high clouds, although it did try to rain on one day, but the effort was short lived. One thing that we could have done without was the wind factor. It was definitely not a good place to have any amount of hair. My sister-in-law and myself found it was truly pointless to style your mane into anything but a ponytail or bun. The temperatures hovered between 25 – 29 degrees, but said wind factor was a bonus in the heat department, as you never felt “hot”. Inland, the wind was virtually non-existent.

All of the tours we signed up for were great. The first tour involved a 40-minute bus ride from our resort to a boat launch just outside of Playa del Carmen. The crew of the catamaran style ferry we boarded was highly entertaining and took many passengers’ minds off the fact that the trip across to Isla Murjeles was rocky. To play up on the choppy ride, they started the “show” with the theme song from the movie Titanic, then proceeded to play act the last scenes of the film with one of the male crew dressing in a long wig and gown while they stood at the bow of the boat together, arms stretched out to the wind and splashing waves. It was very apparent that they were all quite enjoying their jobs as tour guides, and we found out later that the host guide had been doing this gig for 10 years and still loved it.
Isla Murjeles is a tiny island off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula. Our boat landed right at the beach of our Palace Resorts sister hotel, the Isla Murjeles Palace. Part of the tour also included the option to participate in scuba diving/snorkeling for an additional fee, however we opted to tour the island on our own after enjoying a few of the free drinks and a light lunch at the hotel.We took a cab ride into the town area and rented a golf cart for the day, which cost us $50.00 US. Most of the transportation on the island is either golf carts or scooters, with the exception of a few cabs and police vehicles. You can circumvent the entire island in 40 minutes in a golf cart, and we found the pace quite appealing as you can pull over and hop out at any time along the roadway to appreciate the beaches and other sight seeing locations. As a photographer I found this the best way to see the island. Most of the time I was able to take fantastic images without ever leaving the golf cart of having to stop to take a shot. One caveat to the road around the island is the number of speed bumps, which were quite high in golf cart standards, and you needed to be forewarned by your driver that one was coming up, or you would have fallen out of the back of the cart every time.

The best-kept secret, and there are many as we discovered, was a government run park we stumbled upon. The road sign read, “Visit the Eastern Most point in Mexico”, and as we approached the park entrance we noted the lighthouse and a small park area adorned with steel sculptures. The fee to view the point and the sculptures up close were a mere 30 pesos each, so we paid the fee and wandered down the path. What we discovered was this fantastic vista and trail system that wrapped around the point at near sea level where the most magnificent crashing waves and rugged shoreline offered a display akin to fireworks. Not a word was mentioned to us, nor had we read about this fantastic locale in any of the brochures.
The thing about Mexico is that if you don’t ask, they won’t tell. So my travel tip #2 is:
- Research the area you are going to visit as thoroughly as you can before you go so you don’t miss out on the little treats that are never advertised or mentioned by tour companies. This is likely because they do not profit from divulging this information. Don’t be afraid to go it on your own, within reason of course. We often found the tour promoters had never been on many of the tours they sell, which can be a bit frustrating.
- Tipping gets you everywhere in Mexico, as it is the main source of income for 90% of the residents & workers. Have a pocket full of US one dollar bills wherever you go and you will get fantastic treatment. Not that you have to flash the cash before you get served, however if you need more information from them than what they are expected to give, the tipping comes in handy and usually brings a broad smile and a thank you to boot. We found we tipped virtually everyone who served us, as the service was quite good everywhere we went.
Our return boat trip to the mainland was equally as entertaining as the ride in. We drank 4 glasses of beer and shot a bit of tequila, then made the grave mistake of not using the bathroom on either the boat or at the marina when we landed before getting back on the bus to our resort. Most of us were ready to bust a gut from having to pee so badly. We actually got off the bus at another hotel because we just couldn’t handle the wait any longer.

The second excursion we embarked on was an eco styled jungle trek combined with a tour of Coba, where the tallest Mayan ruin was located. Coba is also the last of the Mayan ruins that you can still climb. Eight years ago when we first visited Cancun, you were allowed to climb one of the temples at Chechen Itza, but they have since been inducted into one of those wonders of the world preservation society groups (this is a good thing) and are no longer “touchable” by tourists. Tulum is also a no touch zone Mayan ruins attraction, but still a fantastic place to see as it is located right on the shore vs. other ruins which are all inland. I also like the idea that Coba was not a highly advertised Mayan ruin tour and that meant I had something a little more interesting or unique to talk about from my trip.We totally lucked out with the Coba Adventure Tour, as our guide was not only very environmentally conscientious but was also a full time senior paramedic and spoke perfect English. Our ride was a very comfortable air-conditioned van that seated all 11 tourists in comfort. Our drive into the jungle was about an hour and half, but the scenery was excellent as we passed many traditional Mexican and Mayan communities along the way.
When we arrived, we started our excursion with a zip line over a small gorge, then once on the other side we repelled down into the gorge to view the stalactite caverns and learn about the calcium deposits which were on of the reasons for the clarity and purity of the underground cenotes. These cenotes are the only source of drinking water for the Mexicans as there are virtually no rivers or streams to provide clean drinking water. The only issue with the cenote water is that due to the high level of calcium it needs to be boiled for 20 minutes in order to be drinkable. Not that it is of poor quality, but the high calcium concentration creates a problem of the development of kidney stones and boiling the water depletes the calcium levels to prevent this problem. We were also told that Hibiscus juice is a natural preventative treatment for kidney stones in that it helps to break them down in your body so you can pass the stones more easily.

The next part of the trip involved another ½ hour drive deeper into the jungle where we participated in a short kayak paddle in a bog connecting to a hiking trail that lead us to a cenote cave. Our guide Isreal provided us with a basic understanding of the jungle area and what this particular cenote meant to the local people. We were given a traditional Mayan blessing by a shaman, then had a quick outdoor shower to remove any bug spray or suntan lotion from our bodies before descending into the cavern and taking a dip in the crystal clear aquamarine water. We then headed back to our first location to enjoy a very tasty picnic lunch prepared by the village women. In this village the language was not Spanish, but traditional Mayan.

The third leg of the adventure was another ½ hour drive to the Coba site. There are a few muddy fresh water lakes in the area, which are riddled with crocodiles, so swimming in them isn’t an option. The hike into the Coba site is roughly 1 kilometer, but if you are in need of assistance, you can to rent a bicycle or have someone ride you in and out of the site on a two seated bike cart for 90 pesos. We opted to walk in, but by the time I had repelled, hiked, kayaked and climbed the Coba ruins I was unable to make the trek back without assistance from a “Mayan limousine service”.

The main Coba pyramid called Nohoch Mull (mull means large) consists of some 120 plus steps in a very steep angle. There is a rope down the center of the staircase, which aids you in both the climb up and particularly on the climb down. The view from the top is outstanding, and one of the smaller pyramids is visible above the jungle canopy from this vista, as well as two lakes. The entire day trip to Coba & the Mayan village was about 12 hours long and we were rightfully ready for a few relaxing drinks by the time we returned to our resort. I utilized my deep marble encased jetted tub in our room to help soothe my aching legs a few times as there is a fair amount of walking involved in many of these excursions, and I was not physically prepared for it like my travel companions were.

We opted to go on a day trip to downtown Cancun, which was a free sponsored trip from our resort. It allowed you to see several more of the resort’s chain hotels and spend a few bucks pumping up the local economy. We managed to miss our return bus back by mere minutes, but a cab ride was only 15 minutes long and quite inexpensive. As members of the resort, any of their hotels’ bellboys were readily willing to flag you down a good cab and ensure you a safe comfortable ride back.

Our fourth excursion in or 7-day whirlwind tip was a 40-minute commercial ferry ride to the island of Cozumel. This island is 5 times larger than Isla Murjeles, and a far more bustling of a locale. If you are 50+ and just want to sit in the sun for 7-14 days drinking cervezas then Isla Murjeles is the place to be. The Palace hotel there is boutique styled and very laid back. If you are looking for both a fun resort and a little livelihood in your trip, then the mainland or the island of Cozumel is your better choice.

We opted to rent a jeep and explore on our own as we did with Isla Murjeles. We traveled along the shoreline roadway, which for the most part was parallel to the main highway that circumvents Cozumel. The beaches here are spectacular. As with both islands, the shore closest to the mainland has much calmer waters, and the eastern sides facing the Caribbean have very active waves and are not typically suitable for swimming unless you are very confident in your water skills or enjoy surfing.

Dotted along the roadway in stretches of 2 or more kilometers were charming little bars and shanty shack style shops. We stopped at each one to enjoy the views and a beer or two. Three places really stood out in our travels. The first was the Rasta Bar, which is dedicated to the late Bob Marley on the eastern side of Cozumel. You can purchase Bob Marley t-shirts & enjoy a beer while leaving your mark with a felt pen on any of the exposed beams and umbrella stands there.

To the left of this charismatic little "joint" is a national park which charged $5.00 US entry fee per person. There you can drive to the point and view both a crocodile sanctuary as well as a lighthouse and two very small Mayan ruins. This area is predominantly a sand dune and a large stretch of the beach area is where the sea turtles come each year to lay their eggs.

The third treasure was another stretch of beach, which topped all beaches we had previously encountered. The sand was as soft and white as flour and with the exception of us; only one other family was there. The huge waves crashed upon the shore and the balmy wind made you forget any trouble you might have had. At the end of this amazing beach was another little restaurant/bar where we enjoyed more rounds of nachos with salsa & beers. I left there feeling quite sure that if I had the cash to spare I would buy a condo on Cozumel.
Since we spent so much of our time exploring, we sadly left Mexico with little more colour than we arrived with. And as I promised, here is the reason for my nickname “Jet Pack”. Although I’m sure you are thinking it has something to do with Montezuma’s revenge, it in fact referred to my inability to keep up with the rest of our pack due to my unfit body. My husband joked that I needed a jet pack attached to my ass to help me keep up, and from then on he would occasionally look back to see where I was and yell “come on jet pack, we haven’t got all day”, to which I replied “Quatro, por favor”!

25 Things

2009-02-17T20:33:00.000-08:00

25 Things About Me...

1) I'd sell my house and travel the world with the money. The only problem is my husband and kids would be homeless.

2) I'm trying for the 1 billionth time to quit smoking

3) I daydream every night that I'm chosen to be the Island Caretaker for Tourism Queensland

4) I love photography

5) I've never taught my kids how to do their own laundry

6) I hate cleaning toilets

7) I hate socks

8) I love cats & dogs. Would have a houseload if the local bylaws would allow it...only allowed to have two dogs, so we do!

9) It's virtually impossible for me to say no to anybody

10) I love sunny locations so much that I'm thinking I must have been a Simoan woman in a previous life

11) Editing videos, maintaining our miriad of networking websites and managing our two websites (Beavertalk.com & Leaveittwobeavers.com) takes up 7 hours of my day every day!

12) Nothing beats a good joke and a hearty laugh

13) I don't believe that the number 13 is bad luck

14) I know eventually I will win the lottery...don't ask me how I know this, but I just know I will.

15) I believe I'm so highly intuative that it borders on psychic ability. Maybe this is how I know I'll win the lottery - hahahahahaha.

16) I'm highly rebellious. Just try telling me I can't do anything.

17) I still have the pressed petals of one of the dozen red roses my husband gave to me on my 17th birthday.

18) If you ever were stuck for a gift idea for me, just buy 6 Cordial Cherries from Purdy's Chocholates and I'll love you forever!

19) Susan and I have been doing our internet radio show for 3 years.

20) I'd like to learn how to fly and ultralight

21) This is my favourite number, and also the day of the month I was born...coincidence? You betcha!

22) I'm sick of American Idol, but compelled to watch it.

23) I don't watch beauty pagents because I always cry when they crown the winner

24) I have an innate ability to pick out people who would make great models...missed my calling as a model agent

25) If I don't laugh at least once a day I feel like I've missed out on the real meaning of life.

Funny Bits - Beavertalk.com Video Montage

2009-02-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

Susan and I have been creating video content for our Beavertalk.com website, and this is a quick video showcasing some of our funny bits from the past year (2008). Enjoy!!! Cheers, S.

Say "Cheezy"

2009-02-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm not the prude of the century and I do love a good laugh, but I have this debate going on in my own little mind about the level of cheezyness in Mr. Skin's Anatomy Awards 2009.

Funny, yes. Male targeted, yes. All I want to know is when will there be an awards program for "men on parade" in the form of an anatomy awards? I'll not hold my breath! LOL

They Make Me Feel Like Dancing

2009-02-10T13:26:00.001-08:00

I found this video on Youtube, and it's the first time I'd seen this, although it already has over 2 million views [where have I been hiding?]. This is a real "feel good" commercial campaign by T-Mobile. Enjoy, and feel free to dance with me.

Do You Get Paid To Do What You Love?

2009-02-08T02:16:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, I co-host an internet radio show with my partner Susan McCord. We also video tape our shows, edit them for short version (under 5 minutes) and upload them to our website, as well several other video sharing sites like Youtube, Howcast, Metacafe, MySpace & Dailymotion.

This week's episode is titled "Do you get paid to do what you love?", and I thought it was appropriate to load the video here as I've noted 90 % of the people I know are either between jobs, or are struggling to find fulfillment in the jobs they have now. I hope you enjoy this video. Please feel free to comment, add your suggestions that would help others, or just comment in general on the subject. Thanks so much for watching! Cheers, S.

The "Chosen One's" Duties

2009-02-05T01:13:00.001-08:00

We all know there can be only one (sigh). There will be a lot expected of the Chosen One by T.Q. I have to wonder how many of the applicants have their head in the clouds with respect to the prospect of being selected. Have they thought of what will be expected of them during their reign as Island Caretaker? Oh, here's a quick thought...what if they do this again for 2010?...(I had to take a quick break there and wipe the glazed look off my face). Maybe I've just given them their slogan if they do it..."We're doing it again, for 20-10!" LOL.

After a fair amount of research on this position, I have affirmed my original thoughts about the responsibilities that come with it. The job ad does sound rather incredible, and we've often heard interviews of people on the street who shake their heads and spew the classic phrase; "There has to be a catch".

The catch is that this IS a real job. Yes, I agree that strolling idyllic island beaches, staying at plush resorts, golfing in the tropical breeze, swimming with Wally the Giant Wrasse and all his mates down under, does make one's head naturally sail into the billowy clouds off Daydream Island, but hit the brakes folks...the ride will not be without a firm set of rules and a highly controlled direction by T.Q. headquarters.

In saying this, I imagine the candidate that is best suited has some level of maturity about them. I'm not saying they have to be over 30 years old, but they will definitely have to prove (if they are very young) they can be responsible, respectable and tactful all turns during their six month journey. Too much thought, time, strategy & money has been outlaid by T.Q. for them to let the wrong candidate fail them in misrepresentation or with unsavory antics. (Google Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan for prime examples of what not to do).

I have a few people that I'm truly rooting for to be in the top 10, (other than myself of course)! There are a lot of talented and interesting candidates in the ever swelling list of applications. Best of luck to you all. Cheers, S

Official Google Australia Blog: The Great Barrier Reef stars in Ocean in Google Earth

2009-02-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

Official Google Australia Blog: The Great Barrier Reef stars in Ocean in Google Earth

The Unusual Twist

2009-02-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

This is the only time where I've applied for a job and I'm able to see who the other applicants are AND what they have on their resumes! I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, as it makes this whole process a bit of a nail biter. Even in a standard cattle call situation the only thing you know about the other candidates is what they look like. I'd be curious to know how others feel about this interesting twist on applying for a job and if they've ever experienced this sort of situation before. I love that there are a lot of positive and supportive comments being passed around by people on the islandreefjob.ning.com site and I think it's absolutely fantastic. It’s funny how so many can be connecting together, yet all vying for one job at the same time. We all have something different to offer, and as I pointed out before, I could not imagine being the one who has to make a decision on who gets The Best Job in the World out of such an impressive group of candidates. Cheers, s.

The Hardest Job In The World

2009-02-01T22:12:00.000-08:00

...and while the competition just keeps piling up, could you imagine being the person responsible for choosing just 10 people out of all these thousands of entries as the short listed group for the Island Caretaker job? I do not envy this person, and I'd call that "The Hardest Job in the World".
When I decided to submit my own video application I spent a few days researching the islandreefjob.com website and anything else I could find about Queensland & the Great Barrier Reef. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Australia and my knowledge base was limited. Next I took the application requirements listed on the official site and scribbled out a basic script:

1. Tell why you feel you'd be the best candidate
2. Show your knowledge of the Great Barrier Reef
3. Make your video entertaining
4. Keep it under 60 seconds long

Now, the reason Susie Parish started Island Caretaker Social Network site was because 60 seconds is just too darned short to truly express who you are - and I think we can all agree that this requirement was the hardest to stick to! The second hardest part was to express some level of humour or be "entertaining" with your content. It took me another 2 days to rewrite and rewrite what I was going to say so that it was (IMHO) somewhat entertaining and that my "pitch" wasn't over the 1 minute time limit! I've never worked harder for a job application in my life - LOL.

At any rate, there are some pretty terrific entries and some pretty boring ones, but I give everyone who entered their hat into the ring by submitting a video application a round of applause for their efforts. Not everyone has high end equipment or video editing software to make a polished video, and I think Tourism Queensland will consider this fact and focus on the applicant's character in the judging process rather than how good the quality of the videos are.

Wishing everyone the best of luck. Cheers,

Who Are You?

2009-02-01T22:08:00.000-08:00

With sensory overload in the form of Youtube and similar video sharing sites, I can't help but think that not too long ago the concept of show and tell was limited to kindergarten students.

But I digress...I'm the first one to admit that I'm a blog/vlog fanatic and can't seem to get enough of it. Maybe it's my innate interest in people that spurs my indulgence in video watching and blog reading. Or, maybe it was the unabashed freak show reality program American Idol that really put a spin on our passion as people for gawking at others while simultaneously exposing our inner selves in a similar way on the Internet. Either way, I'm thoroughly entertained.

So in the spirit of show & tell, who am I? I’m a wife, mother, accomplished photographer, office manager, blogger, video producer/editor & website manager. My passions are travel, photography & marketing, so I whole-heartedly feel the Hamilton Island Caretaker job was tailor made for me. Unfortunately over 8,000 other applicants feel the same. LOL.

I am very much enjoying this site and the people who have joined in this community about The Best Job in the World. Thanks to everyone who have joined here, and for sharing your stories and ideas. May the best travel, photography, blogger, adventure applicant win!

Please feel free to view & comment on my photography skills here: Sigfusson on RedBubble Cheers, S.

Last Week's Beaver's Show (#118)

2008-03-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

On the Leave It Two Beavers radio show, our dating topics were "Blowing Them Off Gently" (breaking up in a tactful and gracious way), and "Are You Afraid To Date?". On both topics we offered valueable insight on dealing with these issues.
If you've found yourself afraid to get out there and date again, chances are you're in a rut - going to the same places, doing the same things. It's time to shake your routines up a little by expanding your horizons and possibly your dating choices. The trick here is to learn to diversify your plans, venture a little farther than you normally do. Make small changes, build up your confidence levels and people will start to take notice in a positive way. Test our ideas - they really work!
In the break up world, there really is no nice way to blow off your date, but using tact whenever possible is the best action. We're not saying you should lie, because that tactic could come back to bite you in the ass. As hard as it may be to be honest, in the long run it is more appreciated than a flat out lie to get you out of dating that person again.
Oh, and don't say let's just be friends even if you mean it - it's just too high school to play that card!

Cheers, S.

An Unfair Trade?

2008-03-06T23:03:00.001-08:00

This image says it all for me. Firstly, even after watching the YouTube video on how to solve a Rubic's Cube, I'm still confused. Secondly, I found an old picture of myself taken when I was 18 years old and realized that there has been a terrible injustice done to all mankind - trading your youth for wisdom.
Gazing upon the old shot, my first thoughts were OMG! WTF?
It's not like nobody told me that smoking a pack of cigarettes and eating potato chips every day for 20 years was going to age me prematurely, but back then I lacked the wisdom to take that advice seriously...which is, as I said earlier, a terrible injustice.
So, what do I do now? Call the nearest plastic surgeon and have my boobs lifted, my fine lines lasered off? I'm not quite ready for that yet (see "chicken" in the dictionary and find a picture of me). Truly, the only thing I really wouldn't mind spending the cash on is a professional tooth whitening treatment, but I've procrastinated over this one as well.
So, for all you young people out there, take my advice and look after yourself before it's too late to reverse the damage. "Hello, did you hear me? Are you listening to me? Did you not hear what I just said?"
Oh, never mind...this advice is just going to fall on deaf ears. When they finally figure it out, all you'll hear for miles around is OMG! WTF?, and the sounds of bank machines being drained to pay for plastic surgery treatments.

Cheers, S.

Just Do It Yourself!

2008-03-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting observation that's certainly not new, (but not many people are talking about it)...everybody wants to be in control. A perfect set of modern examples are both in the form of entertainment:
1) TV Reality Programs where the viewer gets to vote, and thus make a personal difference in what they see, like American Idol - essentually feeling in control of the programming,
2) The internet explosion in the form of Blog spots, You Tube, My Space...
Who doesn't want to be in control? If you say "not me", you'd be a liar.
The second part of this observation is in the "look at me" phase that is directly associated with our obsession with this new found level of control. Who is the funniest? Who is the coolest?, Who has the most visits to their web site? Who has the prettiest pictures? Who is the best/worst singer? Who can renovate their home without the aid of a certified contractor? Is this about competion or is it because we-the-people now have more control than ever before, rather than the corporations who once controled everything for us?
For the most part I compare this new direction to the free thinking movement that was thrust upon the general population by the 'make love, not war' generation of the 60's. It's a complete turn-around from even just 10 years ago where being in control was limited to your own household or your business.
We've taken this new found freedom to the 'N-th' degree and sometimes it's a little frightening to see where it's taken us. Don't get me wrong, I am completely open minded about the 'I'm in control now' movement - Power To The People, I say! Just don't expect me to buy your house now that you've taken control of your handyman fantasy and learned to put on that new addition by watching 12 back to back episodes of Extreme Makeover Home Edition starring the ever so charming Ty Pennington. I'm proud of you for dusting off your tool belts and table saws, but there is a limit to taking control and just doing it yourself, for me. Some things ( like the roof over my head)are sacred and will only be worked on by certified professionals.
I only have one question left...will we eventually do it yourself distruct?
Cheers, S.

Planning Ahead

2008-02-25T20:45:00.000-08:00

I must say that planning ahead for anything is a pain, unless you're a detail freak. I have a bit of a perfectionist side, but when it comes to planning ahead I totally suck. Maybe it's the love for the unexpected that keeps me from putting a pulse on that aspect of daily life.

I remember a story a car salesman once told me about the days when he used to go door to door selling cleaning products. He bravely knocked on people's doors hoping to find a buyer behind the peep-hole. On this one occassion, as he stared down at the floor he could hear footsteps approaching on the other side of the door. The door swung open, and there, much to his delight, was a young woman wearing nothing but an open silk bathrobe. Without skipping a beat, he gazed at her ample chest and said "Hello, hello", greeting each breast respectively.

I don't know that this is an original story, or one that salesmen pass on from one unsuspecting listener to another like an urban legend, but it's the best example of learning to love the unexpected that I've heard yet.

I don't have a peep-hole in my front door, so if I ever decide to try this unexpected greeting on my husband, I'll have to pray that when the doorbell rings it isn't the milkman. Then again, if I plan ahead, I just might get my milk delivered for free.

The City In My Head

2008-02-25T00:04:00.000-08:00

People see the city where they live in a completely different way than everybody else does. We take from our city what we need and leave the rest behind.

When was the last time you drove through your city and looked at each area that you passed in an objective "tourist" kind of way? This is an interesting excercise if you have the time. You will appreciate the potential or lack of potential each area has.

If I drove from my home to the downtown core, it would take me close to 1 hour to get from point A to point B. In that time I will pass a fair bit of waterfront containing both industrial and residential sections, average neighbourhoods, old neighbourhoods, renewed neighbourhoods, bad neighbourhoods, really really bad neighbourhoods, and then hit the city core.

In a 1 hour drive I will see virtually every human walk of life. In a 1 hour drive I will see an entire world of activity completely different from my own little world. In a 1 hour drive I could give my kids an education on the basics of humanity.

The city in my head is only as large as I need it to be, but I now realize that a 1 hour drive could change that.

Just One Big Misunderstanding

2008-02-20T11:48:00.000-08:00

I've heard talk recently about "levels of commitment". This is something that touches our lives in every way - from family, friends & lovers to work environments & politcal arenas. The question is: How do YOU define committment? According to the online Word Reference Encyclopedia, the official meaning is this; commitment, allegiance, loyalty, dedication - the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action.

That definition seems pretty straight forward, so why do people compare levels of commitment based on ANYTHING other than the history of our accomplishments in any given context? I would think that if someone is doing their job efficiently, and to the best of their ability, they would be considered committed to their responsibilities. If you have an agreement as to shared responsibilities, (such as in a marriage or business arrangement) and each of you are meeting those obligations to the best of your respective abilities, would that not be considered reputation for commitment?

I wonder if the human race has become so jaded and suspicious of each other that we are no longer able to see past our fearmongering ways and evaluate each other as the individuals we are - warts and all, based on what we have done in the past. I think it is a sad day when finger pointing, assumptions and misunderstandings override individual levels of commitment to each other and to society as a whole. We have learned from our Governments that promises are made to be broken, that the value of money isn't appreciated unless it's your own and that trust is the most abused 5 letter word in the English language.

The proof is in the pudding people. Let reputation and past performance be your guide in deciding who is committed and who is just blowing sugar up your ass. That is as straight forward as it gets.

Cheers, S.

Little Feet, Big Trouble...

2008-02-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

We brought home a puppy yesterday, and haven't had much sleep since - but who cares??? We have a puppy!!! Even though it's been nearly 25 years since we've had one this young in the house, it doesn't take long to remember how much work they are. I thought baby proofing my house was a lot of work, but puppy proofing is just as much work, if not more. Everything they come across has the potential of being edible...shoes, paper bags, kid's backpacks, toilet paper, lego...the list is actually endless.

Having been forced to do a better cleaning job than I usually do in order to suss out the obvious dangers, there are a few things I've found that I was certain were lost for good. Maybe if I cleaned under the couch cushions on occassion I wouldn't have to replace things I thought had been lost for good so often. I may not be the best house cleaner, but I do take issue with a dirty bathroom or kitchen. Those two rooms are a priority in my little mind. However, if you don't mind sitting on a few mismatched socks from last week's laundry loads, or putting your coffee mug down on my dusty coffe table, then we are good to go.

My motto therefore is "a clean house is a sign of a wasted afternoon" . I'd far rather be out in my back yard playing with my new puppy anyway!

Cheers, S.

Where DID The Time Go?

2008-02-16T00:26:00.001-08:00

Between figuring out all my new computer equipment and entering photography contests, I've been seriously strapped for time. My husband is officially pissed at me and my computers, and who could blame him????

I had the brilliant idea to hook up two computers to one monitor, keyboard and mouse. Seemed simple enough. All I had to do was buy a router and a converter, do the plug'n'play hook up thing, run the Windows network setup program and I'm away. But wait...what have we here? Oh, yes I should have thought of that when I was at the computer store 5 times ago yesterday...my mouse isn't being recognized by the simple plug'n'play set up, (among other things) and I managed to forget to beg the salesperson not to overlook any possible inclusions to my purchase(s). It's not about lack of funds here, it's about lack of know-how, and you'd think a computer store salesperson would be only too willing to sell you every possible gadget and thingamajig you may or may not need to get the job done.

Is it just me, or is the technology age kind of like dog years? Seems to me that my mouse is only 1 human year old, but technologically it's actually 7 years old, which would rightfully explain why my new simple plug'n'play set up isn't recognizing it. Now it all makes perfect sense!

If being technologically up-to-date means that you age 7 times faster, then I'm only too glad to be a"mere mortal".

George: "Say Goodnight Gracie"
Gracie: "Goodnight Gracie"

Latest LITB Radio Show Today

2008-02-14T19:31:00.000-08:00

Our show today was really great, as usual. Suzanne & I were in fine form. Len was a hoot, piping in here and there as he does, just to stir up the mud - we love it.

The topics today were "Dealing With Rabbit Boilers" (an expression taken from the 1987 movie Fatal Attraction starring Glenn Close and Micheal Douglas). Our second show topic was called "What Am I Doing With My Life?"

As usual, we only get the chance to expose the tip of the iceberg on our dating topics because there is always a lot more to discuss than we have time for. We do manage to give a full scope of the subject and fill your brains with food for thought, which is what our show is all about. If you didn't get the chance to tune in live at noon PST, all our shows are archived on our web site at http://www.leaveittwobeavers.com/. All podcasts are available in both Real Audio and MP3 format.

Cheers,

The Long Term Love Affair

2008-02-12T23:55:00.000-08:00

For those who are dating or in love at this time of year, Valentine's Day is, (for all intent and purposes), a recognized "holiday". Time to grab a classy clutch of roses and a box of chocolates boys. Let's face it - if your in love your getting a little someth'n someth'n on a regular basis. Good sex is a lot like a gift box of chocolates - you devour the contents with passion and at the end of the assorted tastings you're left wanting more. And if you play your cards right, more is what you will get.

Just so you know, I'm a firm believer in passion for the long haul. Having been with the same man for close to 24 years I can tell you it isn't a cake walk keeping the heat on between the sheets, but it's worth the effort! Sex, weather it's a routine romp session or an unexpected afternoon delight, is essential for relationship bonding as well as your health. If for any reason you or your partner have slowed down in the passion department, don't let it go on for too long without finding out what the problem is. A sudden change in sexual appetite could be a sign of something serious, such as a health issue, or a communication problem you've not clued in on.

In the meantime, enjoy every romp you can squeeze in during the Valentine's weekend ahead. Oh, and ladies, it's okay to just suck all the chocolate off the bonbons - there is no rule that says you have to swallow them too.

There is always tomorrow...

2008-02-11T22:58:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching a film called Reign Over Me, starring Don Cheadle & Adam Sandler. Excellent story, a bit longer than it should be, more sad than I expected, but overall a good film.

Emotional state of mind is a very fragile thing when you realize that everything and everyone you know today could very well be gone tomorrow...no warning, no time to adjust, just gone. We live everyday like there will be a thousand more to follow and this is quite simply a very arrogant way to live. I should talk - I smoke too much, don't get regular exercise, haven't seen a doctor in 10 years, and assume I'm going to live to be over 70 without issue because my grandparents did and my parents have as well. It's time I smartened up. If you're with me, I want to hear you say Hell Ya! Until then, you can find me out in my backyard with my camera a pack of cigarettes and a very arrogant attitude.

Welcome

2008-02-10T16:57:00.000-08:00

Welcome to The Scenic Route blog. The crux of my conversations here will be about the internet radio show I co-host with the lovely Suzanne McCord. I dabble in photography and song writing as well and plan to include these hobbies into the mix.

www.webshots.com/user/sigfusson - personal photo upload site

www.leaveittwobeavers.com - Internet Radio Host - Dating & Relationships

Check out the above links and let me know your thoughts by emailing me at iradionetwork@shaw.ca.

Cheers, S.

The Scenic Route

Moronic Advertising Tactics

The Six Feet Under Shortlist

Dirty, Sexy Money

Waste Not Want Not

People Are Weird

Act or Accept

Lost In My Own Space & Lack Of Time

I'll Drink to That...

No April Fool

Valley Girls In Vancouver?

Confessions Of An Online Photo Site Junkie

Some Things Just Can't Be Explained

Midnight Blue

More Fun With Instructional Videos

Finally There is An Instructional Video!

Quatro, por favor!

25 Things

Funny Bits - Beavertalk.com Video Montage

Say "Cheezy"

They Make Me Feel Like Dancing

Do You Get Paid To Do What You Love?

The "Chosen One's" Duties

Official Google Australia Blog: The Great Barrier Reef stars in Ocean in Google Earth

The Unusual Twist

The Hardest Job In The World

Who Are You?

Last Week's Beaver's Show (#118)

An Unfair Trade?

Just Do It Yourself!

Planning Ahead

The City In My Head

Just One Big Misunderstanding

Little Feet, Big Trouble...

Where DID The Time Go?

Latest LITB Radio Show Today

The Long Term Love Affair

There is always tomorrow...

Welcome